Living through the pain
by My night sky
Summary: Laura Roslin lives through detention on new Caprica but she loses more than anyone can imagine and has to learn to live again. Implied torture. Non-con
1. Chapter 1

Laura lied on the floor of her cell; completely numb to everything around her. Her face pressed against the concrete floor but she couldn't feel it anymore, the numbness felt bone deep and after days of laying in the same position it felt normal. She couldn't remember what it felt like not to shiver and lose feeling in her hands and feet. She could feel Cavil on top of her pressing her down onto the floor; pounding into her from behind. She felt the movements but nothing more. She no longer felt the shame and humiliation, at last they had finally taken away her dignity and self respect. She felt dirty, and wanted to die; there was no reason to hold on to hope. "Adama left you and he's never coming back" they would whisper into her ear. Maybe she should believe them; it's been months since he left, why come back now? Cavil gave up trying to get information from her, now she was his hobby. She was where he would come when he wanted to relieve stress. At first it had started out as mental abuse, cavil whispering into her ear that adama wasn't coming back because he didn't care what happened to her. She didn't even give him the time of the day because she knew it was all garbage. She knew Bill would be back because they had something special. Her unaffected ness from the whispers pissed him off, he didn't care if he didn't get the answers to his questions, he could get them from another prisoner but he wanted her to react to his words, but she sat in the corner of her cell seemingly ignoring him. Cavil wasn't worth it to waste energy on giving a response. That infuriated him to a point of physical violence. The first time Doral came in her cell was forever etched into her brain. The feel of his fist against her face for the first time, the sound of her rib breaking under his boot, blacking out from the intense pain; every detail was still crystal clear to her. She relived it every time she closed her eyes. Every night she woke covered with sweat and shaking. Reliving a nightmare in her own hell.

**The first night with Doral**

The door slammed open, causing Laura to jump and look to see which model it was this time. Doral walked in pulling a chair behind him; the scraping of the chair legs against the concrete gave off a terrible noise that Laura covered her ears blocking out the sound. Doral put the chair in the center of the cell. He grabbed Laura by her hair and her arm and pulled her up from the corner, dragged her to the chair and slammed her into it. He let go of her arm but held onto her hair.  
"Who are the resistance leaders?"he yelled into her face, his breath washing over her face made her nauseous. She tried turning her head away from him. But he pulled on her hair hard enough to jerk her head toward him. She looked into his eyes with fiery defiance.  
"I'm just a teach.." She didn't get to finish before he struck her. His fist against her cheek; white hot pain spread across the side of her face. She nearly fell off the chair but he kept her hair in his hand and used it to pull her back into the chair. She didn't cry out though, wouldn't give him the satisfaction. She was breathing harder but she just looked back up at him. Her eyes swelling with tears that never fell.  
"Names" he whispered into her ear.  
"Frak you" she told him. Showing no fear; staring into his cold mechanical eyes. He smiled at her, an evil little grin, and Laura's stomach dropped. He shoved her off the chair; she landed on her shoulder hard. Laura grunted through the pain and tried to sit up but was kicked back to the ground. Doral continued kicking her in the abdominals. She tried crawling away from him but the searing pain made it impossible; she curled up into a ball. Doral just starting kicking her back; it continued for what seemed like hours when she knew it was merely minutes. Doral never grew tired, by the time the third rib breaking echoed throughout the cell somebody thought it was time to stop. Leoben rushed through the door and grab Doral. "That's enough, you're going to kill her."  
"She deserves to die, she's killed enough of us, putting us out the fraking airlock" Doral yelled back and kicked her once more in the center of her back. He called her a bitch and spat on her as he walked out of the cell. Leoben looked down on Laura, moved her hair out of her face. She had blacked out at one point but she kept the tears from falling. 'She's stronger then they gave her credit for.'


	2. Chapter 2

**Present**

Cavil continued to pound into her, never growing tired "You want this to end?" Cavil whispered into her ear. He stopped and pulled out of her. "Maybe you'd like to enjoy it? Get that release to make you forget all of this for a few seconds." He rolled her on to her back and spread her legs. One on each of his shoulders, and leaned down. "I've never done this on a human before." And with that he put his mouth on her "mm your so wet" he moaned into her. Laura started to cry and a sob escaped before she could stop it. Her body was betraying her, she didn't want this and didn't enjoy it. She just wanted to die. She could feel his tongue sliding between her folds, lapping at her. She put her arms over her face so she wouldn't have to see his face. So she wouldn't wake up every morning and see his face going down on her. An explosion drew her out of her self- loathing long enough to listen to the gunfire that sounded outside the building. The cell door slammed open and Simon came running in. "Cavil, you have to go," Simon yelled at him. "M'why?" Cavil moaned into Laura as he continued his ministrations. Simon grabbed his shoulder and pulled him up to whisper in his ear. Cavil sat up straight and pushed Laura's legs off of his shoulders spreading her farther open. "Well my dear I hope to come back and continue but if I don't I want you to know that I will always find you again." He stood and tucked himself back into his pants and left. Laura didn't move her arms off her face and didn't try to stop the crying. Simon knelt beside her; he closed her legs, and pulled up her shirt. "Damn it he pulled your stitches out, Laura look at me." He pulled her arms off of her face. He wiped her tears away with his thumbs and stared into the bright green eyes that showed just how terrified she really was. Simon grabbed her hand and gave a gentle squeeze.  
"I'm going to get my med bag and I'll be right back." Laura just looked back at him seemingly unaware of what he was saying. Simon gave her hand one more squeeze and ran out of the room. All alone in the cell Laura listened to the chaos outside, there were explosions every few seconds and continuous gunfire. Peoples screaming could be heard but she couldn't make out what they were saying. But she didn't listen very hard because she found that she didn't care, every time the resistance did something she was punished for it. They kill a cylon and she gets dragged to the detention center. After awhile they just kept her there; stopped releasing her so she couldn't get help from doc cottle. Doral and Cavil were given too much freedom and time with her and Simon eventually interfered. It had taken an agonizing week withering in pain before anyone said to stop. Simon told her that Leoben, the Sharon model, the sixes and himself voted to stop the abuse to administer medical treatment. Made it sound as though he was doing her a favor, but if no one had stopped them she would have been dead by now. Not sitting half naked in a cell waiting for the enemy to save her. The gunfire grew louder and closer; the cell door swung open and cavil ran in. "Seems Adama came back for you; unfortunately he came a little late." Cavil sat on her stomach pulling more stitches out and grabbed her hair. "Your mine and your never leaving me." He whispered into her face. He pulled her head up and then proceeded to slam it in to the ground. A sick crack was heard throughout the open door. Laura's vision blurred and she couldn't concentrate on anything. It took all her energy to fight the blackness away. Cavil started striking her across the face, punch after punch; just before the blackness over powered her she heard Leoben yelling and felt Cavil being pulled off of her.  
Leoben could hear Cavil in the cell and ran into it. He was sitting on top of Laura pummeling her face. Blood was pooling around them but Cavil didn't care he wouldn't stop. Leoben knew Cavil had gotten too attached to Laura. He grabbed Cavil by the back of his collar and pulled him up. He spun Cavil around and slammed him into the wall, "that's enough, it's over" he yelled into his ear.  
"I'm not giving her back to adama or anyone else." By then Simon came back with his bag. He looked down at Laura; saw the blood pooling and the new swelling on her face. He quickly went to work, applying gauze to her stomach and sides where stitches were tore out. "Leoben come here and help me." Simon told him. Leoben grabbed cavil and threw him out the door. He ran into the wall and was momentarily dazed but when he turned around to go back into Laura's cell marines surrounded him. He looked at the group and Colonel Tigh came into view, he just stared at the man; waiting. "If it moves, kill it" and with that he went toward the cell door with cottle close behind.

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I hope you liked this chapter, will post again soon


	3. Chapter 3

"If it moves, kill it" and with that he went toward the cell door with cottle close behind. Tigh walked into the room and saw simon and Leoben leaning over an almost unrecognizable Laura. Bill's Laura, they had their filthy hands on Bill's Laura. "Move away from her now" a marine yelled. The cylons were surrounded by marines waiting to pull the trigger but they acted like they weren't there, just continued working on Laura. "Leoben put pressure right there to stop the bleeding" Simon ordered as he leaned toward Laura's face, he took his light to shine into her eyes, she was still blacked out and her eyes were swelling shut. Simon lifted her head up and felt the back of her head. He found the knot that was swelling. "Concussion" Simon muttered to Leoben. He looked up at Cottle. "Help me save her" he yelled. Cottle looked at Tigh who was in shock and didn't move. Cottle moved to the side of Laura opposite of Simon. "She has a concussion, and I think internal bleeding. Cavil just ripped her stitches out and probably rebroke her ribs. Your going to need a stretcher to move her, she has pinched nerves in her back and can't move her legs." Cottle nodded and went to work on Laura's side taping gauzes on, " I take it I should look for other injuries seeing how she's half naked?" Simon lowered his head and didn't answer. Leoben looked at the colonel and when he looked back at him Leoben nodded in Cavil's direction; hoping he would understand. The colonel looked at him and then at cavil. He stood ramrod straight with his hands clasped in front of him; a sneer on his face. "I'm going to give her morpha and then we'll transport her." Cottle told the colonel who didn't look back at him; Tigh stepped closer to Cavil whose smug grin grew. "Kill it" was all Tigh said. And with that bullets penetrated Cavils body and he fell to the floor. The gun shots caused Laura to wake gasping and struggling. She swung her arms pushing the many hands away from her. "Don't touch me... Stop it... Please, leave me alone" she screamed and pleaded. She struggled against Cottle who grabbed her wrists and tried to calm her. "Laura, stop it. Look at me... Look at me your safe now. I'm here with you now and your safe." Laura stilled for a moment and grabbed Cottle's forearm "Jack?" She sounded so small and ready to cry. "It's true, bill really did come back..." Tears started to flow down her face. Cottle grasped Laura's hand and squeezed it gently to prove he really was there. He started to tear up watching this usually strong woman fall apart. He became aware of all the eyes upon them. "Colonel I'm sure there are others who need to be released. And I need a stretcher ASAP." Tigh snapped up turning away from the crying woman. "Right, do you want marines to stay with you?" He asked glaring at the cylons. "No, I don't see them going through all this trouble just to kill her now, but bring blankets with that stretcher, cover her up." Tigh walked out of the room followed by the marines walking down the hall. "It's going to be alright Laura your almost home." Jack whispered in her ear. "Jack... I can't see anything" she whispered to him and with that fell unconscious. "Let's go, get her ready to move." Soon a stretcher and blankets made it to the cell cottle wrapped her up and with Simon and Leoben's help placed Laura on the stretcher. They walked out of the detention center and made their way to a nearby raptor ready to take them home. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Galactica**

"Where is she" was all the admiral asked the nurse when he walked into sickbay. He'd heard rumors of her condition but nothing concrete. Cottle heard Adama's voice from his office and went out to talk to him. "Admiral" cottle gruffly greeted him puffing on a cigarette. "Doctor, where is Dr. Roslin?" Cottle turned and led the admiral to the back of sickbay to a curtained off area. The doctor looked back at him before he pulled the curtain back. The admiral walked into the curtained off room and looked at the unconscious women in the bed. She had a machine breathing for her and a neck brace. Her face was bruised and swollen, if it wasn't for the red hair Adama would have a a hard time believing it was her. Even with everything that happened right now she was alive and safe on galactica. Adama walked to the side of the bed and grabbed her hand. "What happened to you?" He whispered as he sat in a chair next to the bed. He pulled at her hand and noticed the restraints, "jack, what's the meaning of these?" He asked looking down at her tiny wrist. "It's just a precaution; last time she woke she was swinging her arms. Can't have her do that now or she'll pull out her IVs. Really don't have to worry about that for awhile because I put her in a medical coma." At the word coma adama quickly looked up at the doctor; his eyes were full of fear and concern and something else that cottle didn't try to place. "she should be just fine, there was brain swelling and I'm hoping this will give it time to heal itself. I'll begin taking her off the medication tomorrow. If you want I'll have someone call you when she does wake." Adama shook his head, "I'll wait here" he said looking down at her. Cottle walked away muttering "stubborn fools" adama looked down at Laura, his eyes swelling with tears. The past four months he'd dreamed of greeting her after the rescue, never once did he imagine that she'd be in anything less than perfect condition. Looking at her now he was grateful she was alive at all; realizing she could have just as easily have died in that cell. Some part of him realized that if she hadn't have come back then he wouldn't want to continue living. She has became such a large part of his heart and soul that without her he would die. Cottle came by and removed the breathing tube and put an oxygen mask on; he took her off the sedatives. Now they were just waiting for her to wake up on her own. Adama sat there for going on 2 days waiting; at one point he fell asleep holding her hand, his head resting on the bed. He awoke to the sounds of soft moans and whimpers. "Laura" he whispered as he stood up leaning toward her face. Laura's eyes fluttered before slowly cracking open. She immediately closed them because the light hurt her eyes. She felt something holding her hand and froze. 'Was it all a dream? Am I still in detention? It had to be a cylon trick' silent tears started to race down her face. "Laura, it's okay. Everything will be okay now. Your safe on galactica" bill whispered to her. "No... It's a trick... I know it is... Bills not coming back..." She whispered through silent sobs. "Laura open your eyes and look at me. It's not a trick, I'm right here. I came back for you just like I promised I would. Please just open your eyes" he was begging now but the pain in her voice made him desperate to prove he was really here, that he had come back for her. She started to cry harder and started pulling on the arm restraints. "No... I don't believe you... Your not bill...why... Can't... I... Just...die?" She asked struggling to breathe. "Laura stop, calm down and just breathe, you need to calm down and take deep breathes" he said but she started pulling at the restraints harder and started rocking trying to free herself. "No... Let.. Me Go.." She screamed. Her heartbeat was increasing causing the machine to beep like crazy. "Cottle" adama yelled holding Laura's shoulders down. Cottle ran through the curtain and started shouting orders at nearby nurses soon the little room was crowded and the admiral was shoved out of the way. He stood on the outside of the curtain listening to cottle give orders and try to talk to Laura. He succeeded in getting her to stop screaming, and her heart monitor was slowing down. "Laura can see me?" Cottle asked her quietly leaning over her face; watching her eyes. "You're fuzzy and blurry... Please untie my hands jack, please..." She started to cry and pulled on the restraints emphasizing her desire to be released. Cottle undid the restraints and held her hand for a moment just looking at her. "The admiral has been waiting to see you, would you like to see him? Are you up to it?" Cottle asked in an uncharacteristically concerned voice, taking both him and Laura for surprise. She shook her head, " I want Simon and Leoben" she was still crying and wouldn't look Cottle in the eye. It was Cottle's turn to wipe the surprise off his face. "Umm let me talk to the admiral and see what I can do" he squeezed her hand once more and walked out of the curtained area toward the admiral who was standing in the middle of sickbay looking like he was lost. "How is she? Why did she react that way?" Adama asked before Cottle could even greet him. "That was a panic attack but she's fine now. She asked to see some one and you're not going to like it." The doctor stopped and look at Adama gauging how he would react. "Well I guess it isn't me, so who is it?" cottle sighed " the cylons who saved her" adama was shocked and felt betrayed. "What? No, no way am I letting any of them around her again. After everything that they did I'm not giving them the chance finish what they started." The admiral was livid, he brushed past Cottle and barged into Laura's room, but as soon as he saw her he stopped. She was crying and shaking as silent sobs racked her body. She was so fragile and small; he didn't have the heart to tell her no. He backed out of the room before Laura could see him and murmured at cottle that security measures would be made before storming out the door.

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Thanks for reading, hope you are enjoying. Would love to hear your thoughts so please review:)


	5. Chapter 5

The sound of chains and boots filled sickbay as the two cylons were led into the room. Their hands and feet were chained, and on their necks was a metal brace attached to a long rod the marines used to push them forward. Adama stood waiting for them, "what is the meaning of this?" Simon asked as soon as they had stopped. "Someone has requested to see you" Adama stepped closer toward them "make no mistake you upset her in anyway and I'll shoot you myself" both cylons nodded their heads and Adama ordered the neck brace and leg restraints to be removed. The group moved behind the curtain into Laura's room; adama walked up to Laura's side and grabbed her hand, "Laura, Simon and Leoben are here to see you like you asked, okay? If you need anything or start to feel uncomfortable say so and I'll have them removed." Laura nodded her head; she wasn't entirely coherent and had sedatives working there way out of her system. Adama let go of her hand and walked out on the room with cottle trailing behind; he stopped just outside the curtain still in hearing range. Inside the curtain room the two cylons looked at each other and then back toward the marines who surrounded them and finally down toward Laura. They both walked to the side of the bed opposite each other and held Laura's hand. Simon leaned down to talk to her, "Laura? How are you feeling?" Laura looked at him; her eyes were wide and frightened. "Where are we? What's happened?" She asked in hurried whispers. "Laura honey you're on galactica; admiral adama just came to see you, remember?" Leoben asked. Laura looked up at the ceiling, "but it's a trick, I know it is. Bill's not really here; he's not coming back. Cavil said he wasn't coming back. He's not really here" her voice was so soft and heartbreakingly frightened. "He lied, Laura. Adama is here; he's waiting to talk to you." Leoben explained. "Laura?" Simon called her name waiting for her to look at him before he asked his question. "Why did you ask to see us and not the admiral?" Laura looked away; her eyes swelling with fresh tears. "I don't know really... I know your real and I'm... Safe with you. You've already proven you won't hurt me or kill me, even if I ask you to." Adama stiffened at hearing this bit. 'She asked the cylons to kill her? She wants to die?' The admiral grabbed his chest, intense pressure seemed to have settled there. His Laura has asked to die; asked the enemy to do it for her. "Admiral?" Cottle stood by him watching; waiting. Slowly adama straightened up and looked at the doctor; "we need to talk", he turned on his heel and walked out.

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The admiral made his way back to sickbay after checking in with CIC and going to his quarters to cry and release his rage. Cottle was walking out of Laura's "room" and giving orders to a nurse when Adama walked up to him. The nurse walked away and cottle turned to adama, "done being an insensitive ass yet?" He asked. Adama glared at him and ignored his question, "major, how is she?" Reminding the doctor that he was his superior officer. "I sedated her and she should be fine and leaving in the next few days." Adama nodded and looked down trying to decide whether or not he should ask cottle what had happened. What she had to endure at the cylon's hands for four months. "You look like you need a drink" cottle said as he turned and walked into his office with the admiral following behind. Cottle filled two glasses and handed one to adama as they took their seats. "What's happened to us? Nothing makes sense anymore, all these people I went back for and it feels like they're still on the damn planet. Saul, Kara...Laura. I don't know how to fix it anymore, I don't even know where to start" adama said as he downed his ambrosia. Cottle sighed and shook his head. "Something's can't be fixed. I know your the old man but there are things even you can't fix and you can't fix people. That's my job and there's only so much I can do; they have to fix themselves. In some cases there is no going back to the way things were before, what's happened as happened and there's no changing that." He finished and pulled out a cigarette. Adama looked him in the eyes; his were pleading, begging for an answer or an understanding but cottle is only a doctor and he can't fix this broken man in front of him. "Jack, what happened to Laura?" Cottle sighed and looked down. "A lot" he gulped his glass of ambrosia and looked back at adama. He was waiting for him to continue. Cottle grumbled but continued "She was one of the leaders of the resistance along with Tigh. For a while she went unnoticed but once they started bombing important targets she landed on the cylons radar. She was in her tent the first time they came for her, four days later she was released; tired but unharmed. That was the only time she came out unharmed after that they started taking desperate measures. Figure if they destroyed the peoples symbol of hope then the resistance would crumble, it only made it stronger. Anders and Tyrol wanted to stage a coup and break her out but were unable due to the security surrounding her. The cylons made sure they didn't lose their prize prisoner... I don't know exactly what happened to her, no one but her does. All I know is when we found her she was half naked and unconscious with two cylons trying to save her. The rest you'll have to ask her but I don't recommend that any time soon." Adama was staring at the ground unable to look the doctor in the face, he had left her to endure that. He never should have let her settle on the that gods damn planet. If he had just said no to Baltar and refused to settle on the planet or let Laura steal the election. but he had looked down on her from his high horse and now he might have lost everyone he loved. "What now?" Adama asked staring holes into his shoes. "Now you talk to her as Laura not the president or a victim. She's lost parts of herself and I don't know if she'll ever get them back but if there's one person who could help her it's you. When everyone was ready to quit and give up she was the one who kept telling them you were coming back. I don't know how she knew or how she kept believing after going to detention but she never gave up on you, now you don't get to give up on her." Jack sighed as he stood up. "I would never give up on her" adama murmured as he stood and followed the doctor out of the door. They walked to Laura's room and peered through the curtain. Laura was was struggling to sit up; eventually she gave up, laying a little higher than before. She sighed and started to move trying to get comfortable but she moved wrong and a small moan escaped. Cottle pushed through the curtain "in pain?" He asked as he checked her vitals. "No" Laura answered quickly, causing cottle to raise an eyebrow. Laura stared back at him, growing uncomfortable under the scrutiny. "What?" She snapped. Cottle sighed "you have a visitor" he said as he walked out. Laura looked through the curtain and spotted the admiral standing just outside her room. "Admiral" she greeted him and looked down. "Dr. Roslin. How are you feeling today?" Adama asked hoping it was a safe place to start. Laura scoffed "better than I was a week ago" she quickly down, realizing it came across as ungrateful for all he did but sometimes she wishes they had left her there. She didn't deserve to live when so many good, innocent people died. Adama stared down as a fresh wave of guilt rolled over him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that" Laura whispered, avoiding looking him in the face. "It's alright, I understand. You have every right to be angry" adama answered. Laura shook her head,"no you don't, but it's that you try to." "Laura I'm trying.." "Admiral it's fine" adama sighed because he knew she was right. He didn't understand what she was feeling. He'd been through war but was never held in detention and tortured. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that I know what your going through" Laura looked at him, actually looked at him for the first time since the rescue. He looked older, more gray in his hair, his shoulders sagged a little. He doesn't stand as proud anymore. The guilt of leaving has started to eat him alive, looking at Laura and hearing the stories of so many has only increased the weight. Laura took all this in but she couldn't find the will to be sympathetic toward him. Now he understands what it means to make the decisions that affect thousands , not just Galactica. He can appreciate the weight of pressure she carried for months while fighting cancer and him. Adama looked up at her, "Laura when your ready to talk I'm here for you. Your not alone in this; when you take back the presidency I'll fully support you" adama stated. Laura looked at him in surprise. Shocked that he thought she'd be president again. The surprise must have been written on her face because adama quickly grabbed her hand. "Don't worry about that now, just rest and get better. I have to go to the CIC but I'll come back later" Adam squeezed her hand reassuringly and left a very still Laura. After everything she's gone through they still wanted more. After serving the people right up to the moments before her almost death and cure, after losing an election to a psychotically self centered lunatic, after spending months as cavils plaything refusing to sell out her fellow citizens they still expected more of her? What more was there to give; she's already lost sweet innocent Billy because of the people. She lost her ability to make the decision as to whether she live or die; that decision was made for her so she could continue on as the president. She lost her ability to even walk; cylons temporarily paralyzed her from the waist down. She's given up so much of her she's not even sure who she is anymore. It's because of all that this time she gets to make a choice; can make the decision for herself. If adama doesn't want zarek as president then that's his problem, he can deal with it. Laura was done making decisions over everyone's life's. "Doctor" Laura called out. Cottle appeared a few minutes later with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. "Your not the only patient here you know." Cottle grumbled. "I want to be released" Laura stated. Cottle knew it was coming, she always demanded to be released early. Cottle sighed and sat by her on the bed. "Laura, your a torture victim I can't just wish you on your merry way. I need to know someone will be able to help you. Also mind the fact that you are temporarily paralyzed from the waist down" "jack, I know my condition and I am not a victim so don't you call me that" she snapped, her voice getting deeper the angrier she got. "Ever think this isn't temporary and could be permanent? I might as well get used to it... As for needing someone, I will ask Tory to help" jack sighed "let me arrange quarters for you on galactica and find a wheel chair." Jack stood and walked to the curtain but stopped "eventually you'll have to come to terms with everything and you'll need people who care about you around so if I were you I'd stop pushing people away" before Laura could respond he walked out.


	6. Chapter 6

**so sorry for such a long wait and now a very short chapter but I figured something is better than nothing. hope to post more soon but probably won't because life gets busy the closer graduation comes, so for now here you go, I hope you like it. Reviews and suggestions are loved :)**

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Hours later cottle came back with a wheelchair and told Laura he had managed to find her quarters. Tory had quickly agreed to help Laura and brought her some clothes. Sweatpants with the galactica logo, tank tops and a hoodie, gracelessly donated by starbuck. "I still think it's too early for you to go but I know arguing with you is a waste of time. The admiral is not going to be happy about this" cottle grumbled as he walked into the room as Laura finished changing. "I am no longer the president so the admiral has no need to worry about my health. Seeing how I am the patient you should be more worried about what I want and not him." Laura said trying to catch her breath. Changing into real clothes turned out to be harder and more painful than she had thought. Her ribs are still bruised and broken, her stitches were still healing and her abused body was basically one big bruise. "To hell with what the doctor thinks, huh? I'm not here to worry about what you want, I here to deal with your health now shut up and listen. When you are in pain take the painkillers; I know, your too busy to deal with your health and can't let the pain get in the way but you'll find that in the next few weeks you'll be in a lot of pain. Moving from your chair to your bed, or the shower so do your self a favor and take the damn medication." Laura rolled her eyes, "anything else?" She asked her voice laced with sarcasm. "You'll have two guards with you at all times" "I don't need the admirals men following me around babysitting. I am no longer the president and need no protection." Laura snapped. Having more people watch her be wheeled around was unbearably uncomfortable, having been used to independence and relying on no one to now need some one just to get her from her chair to her bed. "They are there to help you... You might want to think of all the people who are trying to help you and show a little bit of thanks, coulda accidentally have left you there just as easily" cottle muttered, "you should have" Laura mumbled as she gather her stuff but cottle heard her anyway. It disturbed him slightly, letting her go might not be a good idea at all. He wasn't worried about people or cylons hurting her, he was concerned about her harming herself. It was hard to fathom, the women who lied on her deathbed and continued to serve her office, now she was in the position to do it again and she acts like she wants nothing to do with it. The cylons really did Frak her up, she won't even call adama bill like she used to now it's just admiral. Cottle pulled the curtain away and Tory started to push Laura out of sick bay, "thank you doctor" Laura said quietly. Cottle nodded and Laura and Tory made their way out of sickbay. People stopped and looked and did double takes; unbelieving that Laura Roslin was being pushed around in a wheelchair, face swelled and purple. She sat up as straight as she could and tried to seem unfazed by all that's happen but they couldn't see underneath. Couldn't hear the thoughts and doubts of whether or not she should have lived. They couldn't even begin to comprehend the emotions swelling underneath the stoic front. Laura was a practiced politician and knew how to hide, hide everything from everyone. Even with all that experience nothing could have prepared her for the fleets reaction.


	7. Chapter 7

**WARNING: this chapter contains non conand brief torture. You have be warned.**

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As Laura was nearing her room when an elderly man stepped in front of her with a look of disbelief on his face. Laura's guards moved forward, hands on their guns ready to intervene. Laura raised a hand to stop them, curious at the man's reaction.

"Madam president" he gasped as he kneeled before her placing three fingers to his forehead.

"It was through you that the gods showed us mercy, our exodus is because of you and your divine purpose amongst us." Laura froze, of all the thoughts in her mind she never thought people would believe she had anything to do with being freed. That was all the admiral and his military brilliance and fearless crew.

"Tory, get me out of here" Laura whispered, overwhelmed and uncomfortable being in the center of attention. As Tory started to wheel around the man Laura saw others kneeling, silent as she went past. Laura couldn't look at any of them anymore, it was overwhelming and undeserved. They needed a hero, someone who was strong and never gave up; she's isn't that person, the admiral is.

"Prophet Laura, please would you give us your blessings and bless us with the protection from the gods." An elderly woman begged as she reached out to touch Laura. Laura gasped and leaned away from her touch; her guards moved to stand on either side of her.

"Tory, get me out of here now" Laura begged. She leaned her head down and covered her eyes with her hand blocking out all the people who are mistaken for believing in her. The peoples cries for her blessings soon faded and silence embraced her. Laura looked up and saw she had made it to her new quarters; there wasn't much there but it was better than sickbay. The guards had taken post in the hall and Tory shut the hatch sealing them off from the world. She wheeled Laura farther into the room.

"Do you want to get in bed now?" She asked quietly, unsure of how to approach Laura. She slowly nodded her head; Tory pushed Laura to the side of the lowered bed, and together they got her in the bed. Tory got a glass and a pitcher of water and set it next to the bed for her to reach.

"How long" Laura asked quietly as she stared at her feet. Tory looked at her unsure of what she wanted to know.

"How long has it been since the rescue?" Laura asked.

"Two weeks" Tory said eyeing her.

"How long was I.." Laura took a deep breath, "was I in that cell?" She asked unable to look at Tory.

"Almost two months" Tory said as she watched her carefully.

"Two months?" Laura whispered back, her hand raising to her mouth as her eyes watered.

"If you want or need to talk about it, I know I'm not the best person for it but I'll be there for you." Laura looked at her young aid, took in her uncomfortable fidgeting and realized how much she missed billy.

"Thank you, but I'd like to be alone now" Tory looked at her unsure of leaving her alone but decided she'd tell the admiral.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours, try to get some sleep." Tory said as she walked out the door. Laura looked around trying not to think, trying not to let the realization that two months of her life was spent in the dark. Two months crawling around looking for scraps of food, of pushing to the very limit of what is the human will. Almost sixty days without human contact, just a parade of the cylon models. It all came crashing down on her as she realized she'd never get those two months back but would always carry the scars. Tears raced down her face and sobs tore from her throat causing her to gasp for air and cause pain to rip from her ribs. It was too much for one person to take and she eventually cried herself to sleep. But sleep brought no peace, just memories.

* * *

"Laura" cavil sneered behind her. Laura's hands were bound together and suspended in the air hanging on a hook from the ceiling. Her feet barely touched the ground and the ropes at her wrist pulled painfully on her arms. Cavil put his hands on her sides and put his face in her hair, inhaling her scent.

"Mm, you are a beautiful woman... Don't you think colonel?" Cavil asked as Tigh was pushed into the room.

"Frak you" Tigh spat back. Laura couldn't see his face but could imagine the disgusted expression, the hatred lighting his eyes.

"Well how can you agree when you can't see her?" Cavil asked as his hands moved to the top of Laura's blouse. Laura started swinging lightly trying to move away but there was limited places she could go. He ripped the shirt open and slide his hands up her bare sides.

"So soft. So breakable. All it would take is a little pressure here" he stopped his hands on her rib cage. Cavil could feel the light shudders going through Laura's body. He put his face in her hair again; nosed it to the side leaving her neck bare. Cavil pressed light kisses up and down her neck. Laura tried jerking away but Cavil grabbed the side of her head and pulled her toward him. He licked up her neck to her earlobe which he then sucked in his mouth and lightly bit.

"What do you want?" Tigh asked hoping this sick show would end soon.

"I need to know who the resistance leaders are and how many people are in the insurgency" cavil said as he continued playing with Laura's neck.

"Terrorizing a school teacher is gonna get you that? I thought skin jobs were suppose to be smarter than that" Tigh sneered. Cavil sighed, his breath washing over Laura's face.

"That's not a nice word, colonel. And I wouldn't say I'm terrorizing her, just as I wouldn't say she's just a school teacher. I think you'll find she's liking this; I can prove it." Cavil said as his hands slide down Laura's stomach to her pants button. Laura started shaking and rocking harder trying to get free.

"Don't" Laura said as cavil undid the button and zipper. Cavil slide his hand in her pants and cupped her sex as he rolled his hips into her behind, his arousal poking her.

"Bring him in front so he can see how much she's enjoying this" cavil said as he pushed Laura's pants to the floor. A Doral model shoved Tigh further into the room till they stood in front of Laura where Tigh was shoved to the floor.

"Ready to show them how much this is turning you on? How you've already soaked your panties? Is this how Adar got you off?" Cavil gloated in her ear. Tigh looked up in surprise hearing of the relationship between the deceased president and his secretary of education. Tigh looked at Laura's face and refused to watch cavil violate her. Laura stared down at Tigh's face, hoping to find strength there but he was no Bill, passing silent encouragement through his eyes.

"Tigh, last chance" cavil said with his thumbs on the inside of Laura's panties ready to push them down. Tigh looked at Laura pleading for forgiveness through eyes alone. Laura understood what he had to do. She wouldn't risk the survival of the human race to stop something that will probably happen anyway. She nodded once at him, showing him she knew.

"Really, nothing?" Cavil pressed once more. He smiled and shrugged his shoulder.

"Have it your way colonel" cavil shoved Laura's panties to the ground and brought his hand back to her folds. His fingers gliding back and forth teasing her. Tears swelled in Laura's eyes as she stared at Tigh. Cavil smiled, quite pleased with himself.

"See colonel, she's enjoying it. Site she might be fighting it but she can't deny that's its been a long time since she's been touched by a lover. I was surprised really, I thought the admiral would scratch that itch for her but he didn't seem to want Adar's left overs." Laura closed her eyes in humiliation. Nothing could prepare her for such a degrading display; her regrets and mistakes of a past life still coming back to haunt her now. Cavil teased her clit and pinched it unexpectedly causing Laura to gasp.

"Bet I can make you come, make you beg for it." Cavil said as he thrust two fingers into Laura. The only sound in the room was Cavil's fingers pounding into her; revealing just how he was effecting her. Tigh looked away when he saw the shame building in Laura's eyes; Doral grabbed his head and forced him to watch. It continued for what seemed like days, Cavil brought Laura to the edge three times. Laura was struggling to catch her breath; she started wishing he would let her come just so this would be over but knew she would have to ask for it. She couldn't do that, that was a line she wasn't ready to cross.

"Remember the names yet, colonel?" Doral asked as he watched with lusted filled eyes. Cavil could feel the struggle the woman in his arms was fighting with. She wanted it to end but wouldn't ask for. She wouldn't give him what he wanted most, and that wasn't names.

"I think it's time for plan b, don't you agree Doral?" Cavil asked as he stopped his fingers.

"I agree" Doral said with a smile. Cavil pulled out of Laura and she sagged against the ropes. Cavil walked in front of Tigh and wiped his fingers with Laura's juices across his face. Smirking cavil nodded to Doral. Laura couldn't see what was happening but Tigh's howls of pain filled her ears and it was one of the worst sounds she'd ever heard. It made her want to tell them the names to end it but she couldn't do that just like he couldn't have stopped it for her.

"Take him back to his cell, maybe now he'll remember those names." Cavil ordered. Another Doral came through the door and the two fives dragged Tigh out of the room. Cavil walked back to Laura looking down. "Damn, he got blood on my shoe." Cavil sighed and looked up at Laura whose head was hung low. Cavil grabbed her chin and forced her to look at him, as his hand with Tigh's blood glided up her stomach. She felt like she'd failed him, and the blood stains would never go away. "You will break, and I will be there to see it. But first I long to mark you as mine, show adama that I've already taken you." Cavil pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. Cavil smiled at her and let go of her face, Laura hoped he would leave but she heard the sound of a zipper opening. She looked up at him and he was pulling himself out of his pants. He grabbed Laura's legs, she started screaming and kicking but he was stronger and pulled her legs to his waist.

"No matter where you go you'll always remember me just as I will you." Cavil said and thrusted in her.

Laura woke up gasping and struggling to get up forgetting the immobility of her legs. She ended pushing herself off the bed and crashed to the floor knocking the side table over and shattering the pitcher of water. She laid in the water and glass shards gasping, fighting for a breath. Someone started knocking on the door, Laura put her head on the ground and tried to breath.

* * *

Would love some feed back, thoughts, comment, or concerns. :)


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